Thinking About The Relationship Between and Among Teaching, Grading and Learning, or “You Don’t Want To Sound Like A Black Girl From The Suburbs”

October 27th, 2009 § 2

Three stu­dents from my tech­ni­cal writ­ing class came to see me dur­ing my office hours a cou­ple of weeks ago because they were unhappy with the grades they received on their first assign­ment of the semes­ter and they wanted my help in rewrit­ing it for a bet­ter grade. The assign­ment, which I give every time I teach tech­ni­cal writ­ing, is pretty straight­for­ward. Stu­dents are instructed to imag­ine that it is the end of the pre­vi­ous semes­ter – which in this case would be Spring 2009 – and they have gone to the Eng­lish Depart­ment office, where they are told that reg­is­tra­tion for Tech­ni­cal Writ­ing is by instructor’s per­mis­sion only, and so they need to sub­mit to me a let­ter of appli­ca­tion. In writ­ing this let­ter, they are allowed to use any source mate­r­ial they think is rel­e­vant: the syl­labus I have handed them, the col­lege cat­a­log, my fac­ulty and/or per­sonal web­site, my rat­ings on rate​mypro​fes​sors​.com – any­thing – as long as what they write con­tains the following:

  1. An expla­na­tion of the course’s rel­e­vance to either their career goals or their aca­d­e­mic careers;
  2. A dis­cus­sion of what they per­ceive to be their strengths and weak­nesses as writers;
  3. A dis­cus­sion of what they believe they have to offer the class.

The assign­ment is dif­fi­cult, espe­cially given the fact that my stu­dents are, over­whelm­ingly, col­lege fresh­men or sopho­mores. Not only have most of them never had to write a real let­ter of appli­ca­tion before – and good let­ters of appli­ca­tion are damned hard to write – but even sea­soned writ­ers can find it dif­fi­cult to artic­u­late their writ­ing strengths and weak­nesses. More, it is rare that an 18-, 19– or 20-year-old has the matu­rity to write per­sua­sively about either her or his char­ac­ter traits or plans for the future. Indeed, one of my goals is that, by con­fronting stu­dents with just how dif­fi­cult it is to write about them­selves in a way that is both per­sua­sive and pro­fes­sional, the assign­ment will spur at least some of them to think a lit­tle more deeply about who they are, what they want to do with their lives, the place of writ­ing in their lives, and how and why they choose to present them­selves in writ­ing the way they do.

The first stu­dent who came to see me, a woman from Sene­gal for whom Eng­lish is a third lan­guage, received an F on her paper because it was filled with so many gram­mat­i­cal, edit­ing and proof­read­ing errors that, had it been an actual let­ter of appli­ca­tion, I would have stopped read­ing after the first half of the first sen­tence. Truly, it read like she’d spent, at most, fif­teen min­utes typ­ing, unfil­tered, what­ever was in her brain and then handed to me the piece of paper that emerged from her printer with­out giv­ing it even the most cur­sory of sec­ond glances. Almost the first thing she said to me when she sat down in my office was, with her eyes start­ing to tear up, that maybe the best thing for her to do was drop my course. Clearly she was a hor­ri­ble writer, she said, and she did not want to end up with an F on her tran­script. I asked her if she was a good writer in French, the lan­guage of instruc­tion in her coun­try, and she said yes. I asked her what grades she’d got­ten in high school on the essays she’d writ­ten in French, and she told me A’s and B’s. The prob­lem, then, I explained – and I am para­phras­ing a much longer con­ver­sa­tion – was not that she was a hor­ri­ble writer. Lit­er­acy skills trans­fer from a first to a sec­ond – and even a third and fourth – lan­guage. The prob­lem was that she hadn’t taken the time to do her best work, and when I sug­gested that maybe this was because she’d fig­ured writ­ing a let­ter would be easy, she smiled and nod­ded. Now that she knew bet­ter, she said, she would at least give rewrit­ing the assign­ment a chance before decid­ing to drop the course.

I’ve been teach­ing in the Eng­lish Depart­ment of the com­mu­nity col­lege that employs me for twenty years now, and I am still sur­prised – though per­haps I shouldn’t be – that it’s the stu­dents who are used to get­ting good grades with whom I have to have the above con­ver­sa­tion. Not that these stu­dents are the only ones who fail to take assign­ments seri­ously, but they tend to be the ones who come to my office either, like my stu­dent from Sene­gal, more or less destroyed by the poor grade I have given them or con­vinced that what they need is to get from me my per­sonal “Stu­dent Road Map to the A.” Stu­dent who are look­ing for the lat­ter tend to argue that my stan­dards are not just dif­fer­ent from those of all the other teach­ers who have graded their work in the past; my stan­dards are much, much tougher. This was what the sec­ond stu­dent who came to see me said. An African-American man who wants to be an inven­tor and a con­sul­tant, his first words after he sat down across from me were, “I don’t under­stand what you don’t under­stand about what I wrote.” It’s a fair ques­tion, and one I usu­ally look for­ward to answer­ing because it can lead to real dia­logue and real learn­ing on the part of the stu­dent, except that – at least at first – this stu­dent was more inter­ested in per­suad­ing me that the strat­egy he used in his let­ter should have got­ten him a bet­ter grade than the C I gave him than in hear­ing my expla­na­tion for why it didn’t. I explained, giv­ing sev­eral exam­ples to illus­trate my point, that his let­ter was nei­ther well-focused nor well-enough sub­stan­ti­ated and orga­nized to con­vince me, were he truly apply­ing, to admit him to my class. Each time I paused to see if he under­stood what I was say­ing, though, he responded by explain­ing in turn that his goal in the let­ter was for me to get to know him as the impres­sive per­son he is – that is my para­phrase of what he said; he was not, in fact, arro­gant enough to say it like that – because that knowl­edge, he felt, ought to have been suf­fi­cient for the let­ter to suc­ceed. When I sug­gested that ask­ing me to read five para­graphs of often irrel­e­vant detail about him­self before he even men­tioned the fact that he was apply­ing to my class might be ask­ing a bit too much, he explained, again, how impor­tant it was for me to get to know him. “I still don’t under­stand why you don’t get this,” he said.

So I went over one para­graph with him in extreme detail. I showed him how adding spe­cific exam­ples to sup­port the claims he was mak­ing about him­self, while at the same time tak­ing out the irrel­e­vant infor­ma­tion, would make his let­ter per­sua­sive. He under­stood, or at least seemed to under­stand, but instead of tak­ing this under­stand­ing and going back to rewrite his let­ter, he tried to push me into doing the same thing with every other para­graph. When I told him I would not do that, that he needed to take what he’d learned and try to apply it – to do, in other words, his own work – he said, “I’m begin­ning to under­stand what you want from me, and so what I need to know now is how to get you to give me an A, and the only way I am going to learn that is if you go over each para­graph with me.”

What I need to know is how to get you to give me an A. I rec­og­nize that stu­dents want good grades; I acknowl­edge the emo­tional valid­ity of feel­ing like, if you are pay­ing for an edu­ca­tion, part of what you should be receiv­ing is a roadmap to the grades you want to receive; and I cer­tainly appre­ci­ate that there are stu­dents for whom the prac­ti­cal value of their grades out­weighs, legit­i­mately and rea­son­ably, what­ever value I might place on some ideal notion of what teach­ing and learn­ing ought to be about. As I see it, though, my job is not to show stu­dents how to get A’s. My job is to teach, to help stu­dents learn, which means that, on one level, it doesn’t really mat­ter to me if a stu­dent moves from a D to B, or from a C to a C+, or from a B to an A. What mat­ters is that they have moved, that they are bet­ter writ­ers when they leave my class than they were when they entered. It’s not that I am indif­fer­ent to stu­dents’ desire and/or need for good grades, but learn­ing to write is not like fill­ing in a blank or col­or­ing in a cir­cle on an exam where there is only one right answer to each ques­tion and so the for­mula for get­ting an A is clear. Rather, learn­ing to write is a lot like grow­ing up. No mat­ter how much advice and guid­ance we get, the fact is that we all grow up in our own way, at our own pace, and some of us never man­age it at all.

Not that peo­ple who can­not write well, or who never learn to write well, can­not, or have not, grown up. Of course they can; and of course those who have, have. Nonethe­less, to write well is, ineluctably, to pur­sue, to con­tin­u­ally redis­cover, to embody a con­nec­tion between one’s facil­ity with lan­guage and the con­tent, intel­lec­tual and oth­er­wise, of one’s char­ac­ter. I do not mean this in an absolute moral sense. I do not mean that peo­ple who can­not write well have no char­ac­ter or that writ­ing is the only way in which peo­ple can show their char­ac­ter. I mean, sim­ply, that you can­not write well if you do not make this con­nec­tion, and it does not mat­ter whether you are writ­ing a poem, a news­pa­per arti­cle, a busi­ness plan, a blog post, a novel or a research paper. If you are unwill­ing or unable to con­nect the process of who you are – or at least the process of who you are that per­tains specif­i­cally to what­ever you are writ­ing – to the process of express­ing your­self clearly and per­sua­sively in writ­ten form, your writ­ing will always be less suc­cess­ful than it might oth­er­wise have been.

More to the point, even if every stu­dent in every class­room in this coun­try were to work assid­u­ously to become an A writer, even if every one of those stu­dents were to get pre­cisely the right kind of atten­tion from her or his ideal teacher, only a por­tion of those stu­dents would get the A they were striv­ing so hard to achieve; and if I were to allow my role as a teacher to be defined solely as gate­keeper – and whether he meant it or not, my student’s request for my per­sonal “Road Map to an A” means that he defined my role as such – I would be doing a grave dis­ser­vice to all the B, C and even some D stu­dents in my classes, whose hard work might not have earned them an A, but the lessons of which they will carry with them into the rest of their lives; and as any­one who has ever worked for a liv­ing knows, per­haps espe­cially if you have employed oth­ers, being suc­cess­ful in one’s career – and, in a tech­ni­cal writ­ing class, my stu­dents’ focus is inevitably on the con­nec­tion between writ­ing and career – is often more about one’s abil­ity to work in a dis­ci­plined and prin­ci­pled way than it is about whether or not that work would have received an A in a col­lege classroom.

Not that grades are not impor­tant, not that there are not mean­ing­ful dif­fer­ences between an A paper and a C paper, or between the writ­ing abil­i­ties – and per­haps, per­haps, the think­ing abil­i­ties as well – of the stu­dents who wrote those papers, but to focus on the grade solely for the sake of the grade, ulti­mately, is to focus on the sur­face of learn­ing, on what it means to be able to dis­play an A as opposed to a C. It is to avoid – or, worse, to dis­miss as irrel­e­vant – the work of hold­ing your­self account­able for the qual­ity of your own think­ing. In terms of writ­ing, after all, that is what revi­sion is: the process of hold­ing your­self account­able for the qual­ity of your own think­ing; and here, again, we come up against the con­nec­tion between writ­ing and char­ac­ter, because your will­ing­ness truly to hold your­self account­able for any­thing is as strong a mea­sure of matu­rity and char­ac­ter as I can imagine.

I am think­ing as I write this about a woman who was a stu­dent some years ago in an hon­ors sec­tion of the advanced essay-writing class that my depart­ment offers and who received C’s on every paper that she wrote dur­ing the first two-thirds or so of the semes­ter. I don’t remem­ber pre­cisely when she started to come to my office to talk about her grades, but almost every time she did, she cried. “I don’t get C’s,” she would sob into the tis­sues I handed her. “I can’t get C’s; I am an hon­ors stu­dent. I’ve always got­ten straight A’s.”

We talked a lot at these meet­ings about writ­ing, about what she wanted to write and why she wanted to write, and I kept explain­ing that she was get­ting C’s because her essays were very safe, each one a tra­di­tion­ally struc­tured, five para­graph argu­ment that was designed to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear. Indeed, her voice in these essays resem­bled that of a class­room par­rot expect­ing to earn the crack­ers she craved by repeat­ing the things she’d heard her teacher say more than it resem­bled the voice of an intel­li­gent and artic­u­late young woman explor­ing through lan­guage the sub­ject she’d cho­sen to write about. She was not, I told her, say­ing on her own terms what she had to say, and learn­ing how to do that was the point of the class. Intel­lec­tu­ally, she under­stood what I was telling her. Emo­tion­ally, how­ever, and psy­cho­log­i­cally, she was so attached to the tried-and-true for­mula of repackaging-for-an-A what her teacher had already said in class – a strat­egy quite com­mon among the hon­ors stu­dents I have taught – that she couldn’t believe I would find her own voice, her own way of say­ing things, any­thing but inap­pro­pri­ate for a col­lege class­room. She was too fright­ened to risk the pos­si­bil­ity of get­ting an even lower grade than she already had because of that inappropriateness.

Finally – I don’t remem­ber why – I asked her if she kept a jour­nal. She said yes, and I asked her if she would let me read some of it. Again, she said yes, and so at our next meet­ing, she brought her jour­nal in. The pas­sages I read were so bril­liantly and beau­ti­fully writ­ten that I told her if she could write just one essay like that for me, I would for­give all the C’s she’d received till that point and give her an A for the semes­ter. At first, she didn’t believe me – which is a topic for a whole other post – and on her next assign­ment handed me again one of her “safe” pieces of writ­ing. When she got it back with another C on it, she decided she had noth­ing left to lose and wrote her next essay as if it were an entry in her jour­nal. It was a gor­geous piece of prose, more than deserv­ing of the A I gave her; and this A so excited her that she went back to her other papers and, on her own, rewrote them. Every sin­gle one of her rewrites also deserved an A, and that was the grade she got for the semes­ter, though it would have been her grade even if she hadn’t done the rewrites. First, I’d given her my word that one paper in the style of her jour­nal would be enough, and I like to keep my word. Sec­ond, though, and at least as impor­tantly, the way in which she’d learned to hold her­self account­able, the chance she’d taken on her­self as a writer and a thinker, was, in my opin­ion, worth the A I gave her.

I can imag­ine peo­ple won­der­ing what grade I would have given this stu­dent if the essay she’d pro­duced while try­ing to write as she’d writ­ten in her jour­nal had earned only a B, and it’s a fair ques­tion. The easy answer is that I’m not sure. Part of me thinks that per­haps she would still have deserved the A because the nature of the learn­ing that would have taken place, inde­pen­dently of the spe­cific essay she pro­duced, would still merit it; part of me thinks that, to be fair and con­sis­tent, I’d have to give her a B, since that is the level she was able to reach in her writ­ing; and part of me is very aware that what actu­ally hap­pened – no mat­ter how much good it might have done her as an indi­vid­ual – was unfair to the rest of the class, since not every­one was given the same oppor­tu­nity to have her or his low­est grades dropped.

This line, between treat­ing stu­dents as the indi­vid­u­als they are – who learn at their own pace, in their own way; who bring, inevitably, the entirety of their lives into the class­room and the work they pro­duce, and who deserve to have those lives if not accom­mo­dated, then at least respected; and for each of whom the grade they receive will mean a dif­fer­ent thing – the line between this and estab­lish­ing the class­room as a level play­ing field, where every­one gets the same fair shake in terms of access to teach­ing and how the work they pro­duce is eval­u­ated, is a thin and dif­fi­cult one to walk, per­haps espe­cially for teach­ers of writ­ing – or, more accu­rately, teach­ers of sub­jects in which stu­dent writ­ing nec­es­sar­ily touches on the fun­da­men­tal ques­tions they are fac­ing in their lives.

Con­cerned as it is with effi­cient and effec­tive work­place com­mu­ni­ca­tion – with, in other words, writ­ing that is explic­itly not about self-exploration and mere self-expression – you wouldn’t think that tech­ni­cal writ­ing is such a sub­ject. If you think only about the kinds of doc­u­ments the stu­dents in my tech­ni­cal writ­ing class need to pro­duce – memos, let­ters, reports, pro­pos­als – it clearly is not. On the other hand, though, being an effec­tive tech­ni­cal writer requires know­ing your­self, or at least cer­tain aspects of who you are, quite well. Almost every tech­ni­cal writ­ing text I have read, for exam­ple, encour­ages stu­dents to know their own com­mu­ni­ca­tion styles, con­fronts them with exer­cises designed to fos­ter eth­i­cal self-awareness, and insists on the impor­tance of under­stand­ing and accom­mo­dat­ing cul­tural dif­fer­ence, which means you need to under­stand your own cul­ture pretty well. Sim­i­larly, respond­ing to an assign­ment that asks you to talk about your career goals in a way that per­suades an instruc­tor to allow you into his tech­ni­cal writ­ing class demands that you to reflect in a non-shallow way on what you are think­ing about doing with your life, even if you don’t yet have a clear idea of what that might be.

Not know­ing what she wanted to do with her life, how­ever, was not the prob­lem that the third stu­dent who came to see me brought with her to my office. She knows pre­cisely what she wants to be, a social worker, and she wants specif­i­cally to work with juve­nile delin­quents. Half a moment’s thought will reveal the rel­e­vance of a course in tech­ni­cal writ­ing to a career in which the abil­ity to pro­duce effec­tive reports and grants, among other things, is cru­cial. So when I read this student’s let­ter, I found it odd that she men­tioned her career goals only once, in a sin­gle sen­tence. Instead, she spent about a third of the let­ter telling me about the pro­fes­sional expe­ri­ence she’d acquired work­ing at a law firm and assert­ing, with­out ever fully explain­ing why, that her expe­ri­ence there had left her with the desire to do what­ever she could to improve her writ­ing skills. More­over, the let­ter was pep­pered with expres­sions and syn­tac­ti­cal struc­tures sug­gest­ing that she was try­ing very hard to sound – and to impress me with the fact that she sounded – more like a law stu­dent than an under­grad­u­ate with an inter­est in social work.

The B– she received – a respectable grade that was, nonethe­less, lower than what she was used to receiv­ing on writ­ten work – was due largely to the vague and awk­ward writ­ing that resulted from this strat­egy, but when I pointed this out to her, sug­gest­ing that her let­ter would have been stronger if she’d writ­ten more as and about her­self and what she wanted to do with her life, she looked down at her essay, shook her head and said, “This is really strange.” It wasn’t, she explained, that she didn’t under­stand what I was telling her; now that I’d pointed it out, she could see how much of her let­ter sounded false and stilted. Rather, my sug­ges­tion that she write as her­self was pre­cisely the oppo­site of the advice she’d received from her high school Eng­lish teacher, a man whom she had adored because he took her writ­ing seri­ously. He’d advised her, once she’d started show­ing him the admis­sions let­ters she was writ­ing to the col­leges she wanted to attend, that she should write so she sounded pre­cisely not like her­self. She didn’t want her read­ers to know she was “a lit­tle Black girl from the sub­urbs.” She told me that even when she was in this teacher’s class, she’d heard rumors that he might be, “You know, racist,” and she whis­pered that word as if she were afraid some­one who knew him might be lis­ten­ing, the way white peo­ple when I was younger used to whis­per the word Black when refer­ring to Black peo­ple, even when no Black peo­ple were around, as if Black peo­ple didn’t know they were Black or as if there were other, non-Black peo­ple who didn’t know that Black peo­ple were Black; and she told me also that this teacher had tried to dis­cour­age her from going to Howard Uni­ver­sity because, “Why would you want to go to an his­tor­i­cally Black col­lege when you have so many other choices?” (I should be clear: I don’t teach at Howard; she is tak­ing courses at the school where I teach so she can trans­fer them back to Howard.)

For a brief moment, I thought I had mis­heard her, but when it was clear that I had not, I pointed out the obvi­ous: that she was a (not lit­tle) “Black girl from the sub­urbs” and that not only was there noth­ing wrong with writ­ing as who she was, but if her expe­ri­ence as an African Amer­i­can woman from Long Island was rel­e­vant to the let­ter I’d asked her to write, it would only have made the let­ter stronger if she’d included it. Unfor­tu­nately, we did not have time to con­tinue the con­ver­sa­tion because my office hours were over and I had another class to teach, though I don’t know what else I would have said. I do won­der, though, what else she might have had to say and per­haps we will have a chance to talk about that after I read her rewrite. What inter­ests me now, though, as I sit here in my office writ­ing these words, what fas­ci­nates me, what has fas­ci­nated me ever since I became a teacher – is, in fact, part of the rea­son why I became a teacher – is how you can fol­low almost any branch in a person’s edu­ca­tion and it will even­tu­ally root itself some­where in who that per­son is; and I am also think­ing about how, if I had not given this stu­dent a B-, we might never have had the con­ver­sa­tion we did; and this is not about me, about how won­der­ful and pro­gres­sive a teacher I am, because there are any num­ber of teach­ers out there with whom this stu­dent could have had that con­ver­sa­tion. Rather, it is about my respon­si­bil­ity as a teacher to be ready to have what­ever ver­sion of that con­ver­sa­tion is nec­es­sary when one of my stu­dents is ready to have it; it is about the fact that, if what I cared most about as a teacher was whether or not my stu­dents could fol­low some “Road Map to the A,” there is no way I would or could ever be ready.

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§ 2 Responses to “Thinking About The Relationship Between and Among Teaching, Grading and Learning, or “You Don’t Want To Sound Like A Black Girl From The Suburbs””

  • Mr. FAMU says:

    I keep stum­bling across the most pro­found blog posts lately. It’s as if I log on daily and cross paths with some inspir­ing work by a dis­tant edu­ca­tor I have never met. I am a senior his­tory edu­ca­tion major, and I some­times dab­ble in writ­ing opin­ion arti­cles for my school paper. I love a lot of the philoso­phies of edu­ca­tion you hold and espe­cially about how writ­ing with “your voice” in tact is inte­gral to being a great writer. I think part of the rea­son I enjoy writ­ing so much is because it allows me to put on paper what is apart of my core. I’m not one of those student’s who ever goes to a pro­fes­sors class to dis­cuss a grade on a paper. I guess it’s part of the fact that i am always so con­fi­dent in my work that i don’t think it’s that impor­tant to “have it out” with my pro­fes­sor over a let­ter grade. I’ve made 4.0’s, 3.5’s, 2.0’s and less. Nei­ther of those GPA has defined who I am as a stu­dent and a learner. And I appre­ci­ate know­ing that for some instruc­tor it’s not about how many stu­dents pass the class with an A or a B it’s about what is the expe­ri­ence they get out of the class and how effec­tive one was at fos­ter­ing and trans­mit­ting knowl­edge. I don’t know you, but you have inspired me today as a future edu­ca­tor. Parts of this blog will be placed in my class­rooms one day!

    The power of the internet!

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